Four moons have passed since Coppelia last wrote. A soft misty yellow lit up the moons in a long, warm autumn. Now a cut-glass icy sphere hangs over the year's turning.
There have been no words left to write. A kind of numbness cast itself over her following those wonderful days in Rutland. She almost dare not write, for fearing the words of despair she might see appear..
An attempt to try another relationship failed as soon as it began. How could she? Her heart just could not give elsewhere, as long as he dwelled there so fully. Four moons watched over Coppelia's efforts to live her half-life, her days of waiting, days of longing. Their third anniversary passed. Their fourth Christmas - apart once more - has come and gone. Again he asked her if she could bear to go on like this. Again he expressed deep regret that he still could not say I love you. Again he told her he really hoped that one day that love would revive...
Coppelia's life at home underwent a crisis in early December and soon after this is written she expects to be moving away to live somewhere new. Alone. The broken family she leaves behind will remain part of her life and she will do all she can to help heal and restore relationships, following the pain she has caused them. His support to her during this time has been a great comfort and Coppelia wonders what shape her life will take after this change takes place.
So much will shift in the weeks to come. The way she lives her days, plans her life, her work, all will be moving under a different star.
There have been no words left to write. A kind of numbness cast itself over her following those wonderful days in Rutland. She almost dare not write, for fearing the words of despair she might see appear..
An attempt to try another relationship failed as soon as it began. How could she? Her heart just could not give elsewhere, as long as he dwelled there so fully. Four moons watched over Coppelia's efforts to live her half-life, her days of waiting, days of longing. Their third anniversary passed. Their fourth Christmas - apart once more - has come and gone. Again he asked her if she could bear to go on like this. Again he expressed deep regret that he still could not say I love you. Again he told her he really hoped that one day that love would revive...
Coppelia's life at home underwent a crisis in early December and soon after this is written she expects to be moving away to live somewhere new. Alone. The broken family she leaves behind will remain part of her life and she will do all she can to help heal and restore relationships, following the pain she has caused them. His support to her during this time has been a great comfort and Coppelia wonders what shape her life will take after this change takes place.
So much will shift in the weeks to come. The way she lives her days, plans her life, her work, all will be moving under a different star.
Sounds like one pain comes on top of the other, to compound into an even bigger one. Moving might be good, a move forward, opening new doors and new ways. At the same time, old ties and roots will not go away. Distance, however, is not necessarily a barrier to reconciliation, nor to actually being family. It does have to be rearranged, or even reinvented....
ReplyDelete