So, she listened...

She listened as he explained how he had been living with another, H, for the last eight years, and how important it was that H was not caused to suffer as he had a duty to care for her, despite their relationship having ceased to be of a romantic nature long long ago. His wife of 40 years had been the only woman he ever loved and her death from cancer almost destroyed him. Then, H, a widow, befriended him - they spent much time together and for a while were physically close. He said that H 'saved my life' by getting me out and about again, being a companion to socialise with. As it seemed practical for them to live together, they arranged to do so, a situation that she was not happy with. She pleaded with him to marry her, but he insisted he could not do so as he was not in love with her. They got along well enough but it wasn't long before he realised he may have made a mistake - her spirit and her soul were not alongside his own, she would never know him that closely - yes they had enjoyed themselves on holidays and she was a good companion but beyond that - he was still alone, he could not really be himself with her in the way that his dear wife had been his best friend all those years.

So, he had resigned himself to a loveless, somewhat lonely but companionable situation at home. His many interests and friends filled his days and he had come to satisfy himself with this, never imagining - or believing - his heart would again be awakened in these twilight years. He assured her that the nature of his relationship with H was only friends - and she was right to trust him - but as time passed, the fact that H refused to accept this , would cast a shadow over them which, on that day, they could not have imagined... and she was later glad of that. For unfolding before them were the most gloriously joyous and blissful days she had ever spent in her life. Days that she has since grasped close within her memory, their light being all that kept her sinking into the darkest dark...

She wanted to enter a dream...

When the call came there was no mention of his friend - but an invitation to lunch at the American Bar at The Savoy next time she was in London. What had she to lose? It would be an experience for sure - and although she had recovered from her recent heartbreak this had left her in a reckless mood, one in which she felt a hunger for sensation, for anything that might fill her senses, excite her existence, so that no room was left for suffering to enter.

Yes, a futile and unrealistic position, but she'd had enough of 'reality' and wanted to enter a dream...so two weeks later she arrived in London. As she was slightly late, their table at the Savoy was unavailable and they lunched elsewhere. In his company she experienced her wings open wide once more, and her heart lift and dance. She was surprised most of all by how much they laughed. She had never laughed as much with anyone before... they found the same things to be so funny, and in the same way. Before long, they were laughing together without the need for words - and they were sharing silences, which said more than a thousand words ever could.

Yet a shadow came to rest over them as the lunch wore on. A shadow which entered the room when he began to explain to her the nature of his relationship with another. His words hit her dancing heart like a rod of lightening, a warning. She knew this was the moment, the decision was hers. She could walk out now and stay safe. She must walk out. Look at what had happened before, when another had been involved on the edge of a relationship - disaster.

The risk was hers to take - or not take. He had made it clear to her, she respected him for that. She felt herself on the edge of a cliff, certain her destiny lay across the water before her, yet knowing with deep regret that if she jumped, she would be leaping into the eye of a storm...