He was diagnosed with cancer on August 11th. Treatment is to begin fairly soon; as she writes they await further information. A month ago he underwent the operation to remove a lump, and recovered quickly, but now the results reveal malignancy, an invasive third stage cancer. Only today does she feel able to write that word. Cancer. So he may well die before H, after all... she can hardly take this in...
The months following Coppelia's move have seen her more at peace, absorbed in managing her new way of life, and able to see him more comfortably now that there is a real home in which to spend some time together. Always, in that secret, quiet place, she longs for a proper relationship to be possible - she always will - but has at last come to terms with knowing this can never be. Back in early July, as they sat drinking in the Champagne Bar at London's St Pancras station, he told her he almost felt in love with her again...
How can cancer do this to him, after all this time? No, this can't happen! He cannot go through those weeks of suffering treatment, endure its devastating consequences! This can't be happening. The numbness on receiving his phone call two days ago, has given way to constant tearfulness. His voice had been higher than usual. He couldn't bring himself to say cancer, he had said " the lump wasn't benign..." Yet his efforts to sound positive, to convey courage, fell away. As the call ended his words began to break, and Coppelia heard his struggle to accept what lie ahead.
Please God don't take him from me. Not this way.
The months following Coppelia's move have seen her more at peace, absorbed in managing her new way of life, and able to see him more comfortably now that there is a real home in which to spend some time together. Always, in that secret, quiet place, she longs for a proper relationship to be possible - she always will - but has at last come to terms with knowing this can never be. Back in early July, as they sat drinking in the Champagne Bar at London's St Pancras station, he told her he almost felt in love with her again...
How can cancer do this to him, after all this time? No, this can't happen! He cannot go through those weeks of suffering treatment, endure its devastating consequences! This can't be happening. The numbness on receiving his phone call two days ago, has given way to constant tearfulness. His voice had been higher than usual. He couldn't bring himself to say cancer, he had said " the lump wasn't benign..." Yet his efforts to sound positive, to convey courage, fell away. As the call ended his words began to break, and Coppelia heard his struggle to accept what lie ahead.
Please God don't take him from me. Not this way.
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